Happy Anniversary (Belated)

File Under: Keeping the Faith

This past January 22nd I celebrated my 3 year anniversary on the Inter-webs, and I am approaching my long overdue 50th post.  I know, I know - it is time to pick up the pace.  With you faithful few I will; and, together you and I - we will change the world.

For those of you close to me in the struggle, you know this has been a rocky, tumultuous 3 years.  I have risen to incredible heights and sunk to incredible lows.  In the spring of 2011 as my physical health began its precipitous downward spiral, I had a serious car wreck that though I escaped without significant physical damage, nonetheless shook me mentally.  I never did thank my brother for dutifully driving me everywhere I needed to go, no matter when, until I was emotionally ready to get behind the wheel of an automobile again.  By the end of the summer of 2012 I had to move away from my adoptive family whose love and support had become a rock for me, I had lost my job, I lost most of my friends, and it felt like the Universe was collapsing around me.  You could summarize the whole experience as a sharp, twisting spiral into darkness and despair.

"Through the Wire," by Kanye West from College Dropout (c) 2004 Roc-a-Fella

However much I wanted to on so many occasions, I did not give in to it.  Throughout it all, I have tasted anger, fear, pain, desperation, doubt, self-loathing, and even a little madness.  I have been tried, tested, weighed, measured, found wanting, and failed.  I had to redefine who and what I am as a person and as a man.  I had to evaluate old ideas and beliefs which failed me in times of crisis, and form new more realistic ones.  I had to discover levels of strength and resiliency I did not know existed within myself.  I have become a master at bracing for a fall and picking myself up again.  I had to change.  I had to grow.  I had to evolve.

The other day I came home fired up to write something about the evolution of society, America, and partisan politics.  On my way in I checked my mailbox, my real mailbox, and I found a green postcard.  I had been anxiously awaiting this letter, both with eagerness and dread.  It was: the payoff for not giving in to the darkness and the despair; the end result of all that change, growth, and evolution; and, a tiny victory in a battle going 2 years strong now.  So I said to 'heck with politics for a few, I'm going to celebrate life.'

For those of you close to me in the struggle, you know this has been a rocky, tumultuous 3 years.  I love and appreciate those of you who have stuck by my side throughout it all - good, bad, and ugly.  To those of you who lost faith, whether it be in me or the message, Godspeed you on your journey.  For those of you unfamiliar ny struggle, I know you each have gone or will go through your own crucible at some time in your own individual lives.  Keep the faith.  You only begin to find out what you are truly capable of at the moment when you think you are capable of no more.

"It's So Hard," by Big Pun from Yeeeah Baby (c) 2000 Terror Squad/Loud Don't forget to stop by my Office on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @RConradBane.

In Darkest Night

File Under:  Keeping Hope Living

Life would be much easier if we were clairvoyant, but unfortunately none of us knows the day, date, hour and minute of our salvation. We only have our experiences and those of others upon which to draw.  If one can see  a theme in those experiences it is that most individuals never achieved anything worthwhile and lasting without some hardship or even a little suffering. In our darkest moments, we all crave the light at the end of the tunnel  that signals our trial is nearing an end.  However, the light does not magically appear because we want to see it there, it appears because we have moved closer to it - by some effort, in furtherance of a plan. I can list any number of things I believe are worth attaining in life, but only an individual can determine what is worth fighting for to him or her. Regarding our bleakest moments as humans, a saying on trials states that "the darkest hour is just before dawn," meaning the hardship seems the worst just before a breakthrough; more simply, there is hope even in the most dire situations. If this is your darkest hour, then now is the time for the most monumental perseverance you have ever mustered. Do not make the mistake of persevering in the same old thinking or disproved methods, rather persevere in a concrete plan to achieve better results regardless of the cost and achieve those things you determined were worth fighting for. In your individual darkest night be the change your are looking for, be your own light at the end of your tunnel.

Are you stronger than you know?

File Under: What Condition Our Condition Is In

Copyright (c) 2011 Kevin Murphy

For anyone who just wants the CliffsNotes® version: yes. Go on about your day with your bad self. For the rest of us a perceived deficit of strength may really ignore an actual deficiency in a more specific skill, such as patience, foresight, or follow-through. When in your heart you believe, ‘I am not strong enough,’ your mind could be trying to communicate you simply need missing skills, reinforcement, enhancement, and support. The important thing to remember is that as individuals we are all capable of seeing any task through, because strength or the lack thereof, is considerably relative and primarily a state of mind.

It is only when brought to the very limits of possibility, the absolute threshold of what we believe we can bear are we ever truly able to see how strong we are. Just as a muscle not pushed beyond its limitations gains no strength from trivial exercise, neither do we as people progress without struggle. We have the benefit that our limits exist only in our minds, hearts, and spirit. When your emotional-spiritual muscle begins to feel the burn, revel in the heady feeling of being overwhelmed and near breaking; and know that true growth and progress is at hand.

When speaking of the mind, heart, and spirit some truth resides in the cliché aphorism that whatever does not kill you only makes you stronger. The caveat is that the ultimate outcome of the situation is largely dependent on the attitude, will, and fortitude of the individual. This is the moment you muster all your bravery, all your wisdom, and all your perseverance. You stand up, you push through the pain and the frustration, you find a way to get beyond your obstacles, and you prove to yourself the true measure of strength.

I dedicate today’s blog to the peoples of the world currently engaged in ongoing struggles for peace, freedom, and equality; especially the many nations and people who's revolution is fought maybe only in their hearts, out of the eyes of the media and the affluent nations of the world. Let us also not forget the nations and peoples dealt a mighty physical, emotional, and spiritual blow by natural catastrophes as they attempt to find the strength, resources, and support to recover and rebuild. Finally, to the poor, downtrodden, oppressed, disenfranchised, neglected, misused, abused, and lonely here at home – you too are stronger than you know.

Fear Not

File Under: Hearing is Believing

I want to dedicate today’s blog to those of us in the struggle who may be down, who may be struggling a little harder, who feel isolated, and who might feel they cannot continue the fight. Life is by no means easy, the world we live in is by no means fair, and the Universe is not always clear or gentle with its reason and purpose. Our suffering is for a purpose whether that purpose is clear or obfuscated. Moreover, by discovering that purpose we can learn, grow, and achieve. In the same manner that steel becomes forged through intense heat, a blade becomes sharp through grinding, sand becomes a pearl and carbon a diamond through pressure, so also do we as humans become wiser, stronger individuals through our failures and hardships. Remember that no matter how desperate the situation appears, no matter how unbearable the trial may seem, or how long you believe the journey will be – there is always hope. You are stronger than you think, wiser than you know, more courageous than you believe, and you are not alone. Fear not, you will conquer this too if only you do not give up because above all – you are loved.

Because I love you so much, I put something extra special together for you. This is my first YouTube video so leave some comments to tell me what you think. The video is set to "You Are Loved" by Josh Groban, off his 2006 album Awake.