Friday, January 22, 2010

Michigan Woman Accused of "Mayhem."

File under: The Law is Not Mocked

Michiganite Bobbie Smith is facing charges of domestic violence and mayhem for allegedly biting off “a significant portion” of her sister’s, Sandra Smith, nose in a domestic dispute. Mayhem, sounds hardcore – but what exactly is “mayhem” you ask? Well, I am glad you asked. Mayhem is an actual legal term inherited from English Common Law. Here is a blurb from Wikipedia:

“[Originally] It [mayhem] consisted of the intentional and wanton removal of a body part that would handicap a person's ability to defend himself in combat. Under the strict common law definition, this required damage to an eye or a limb, while cutting off an ear or a nose was deemed not sufficiently disabling. Later the meaning of the crime expanded to encompass any mutilation, disfigurement, or crippling act done using any instrument.”

What mayhem means is essentially the younger Smith went all Helter-Skelter on the elder Smith with her very best Hannibal Lecter impersonation - hardcore indeed. I admit freely I have had some intense “discussions” with family and friends over the years. I will concede I might have even threatened to eat their face on occasion, but having said that, I have never actually had the gumption or intention to commit the act. That is simply co-co-nuts, and probably unsanitary (I mean you do not know where someone’s face has been).

So what is the lesson we should learn here? I suppose I should say that in uncertain and harsh times, where we can lose everything we care about in a random act of nature or hatred, we should all be grateful to have a sibling with which to argue. However, the true lesson is that when in a fight, and it is not looking good for you, do not leave your opponent something to remember you by. It only adds years to your sentence and a foul taste in your mouth.

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